pain

Dec. 12th, 2010 09:01 am
noabsolutes: (Default)
Yesterday I felt the familiar sharp twinge-snap in the back of my neck followed by excruciating pain followed by some hospital time. I finally have a diagnosis though - I have chronic tendonitis in my shoulder accompanied by repeat muscle strain in my neck. They gave me a scrip for 60 valium (sixty valium), a pending one for physical therapy, and I'm on an Rx dosage of Advil either 3 or 4 times a day but its not like it matters, I'm never awake to take dose 4. The good news - the only good news - is that none of it appears to be bone pain. Thank all the stars, it's not a spinal injury.

I woke up in agony. I cannot move without pain. My shoulder is aggressively and painfully clicking when I move it - it's sort of like cracking knuckles, it's excruciating until I do, but the cracking is excruciating itself - and my neck is so painful I cannot relax in any position without serious pain. I cannot lean back. I cannot lie down. I cannot stay upright because my neck tenses up with the strain of holding my head in the one position that does not hurt and that is exhausting and also painful. I woke up sometime around 730 because the pain was too great to continue sleeping. I immediately ate 2 valium and 3 advil and half a banana so my stomach wouldn't melt and now my head is swimming but every part of my neck and shoulder hurts to the point I just want to curl up and cry. Cannot do this though. That would hurt more.

The Boy took me to the hospital yesterday and cared for me and brought me home and bought me a milkshake because it's all my stoned self could think about. Who can find a milkshake in midwinter in Boston? I can not imagine someone more caring and wonderful.

I was supposed to fly to Philadelphia on Tuesday. I do not think that is happening anymore. I will be surprised if I am able to drive to work tomorrow.

Of all the shitty things that have happened this weekend, this is the least of them. The rest is not my story to tell but my heart is aching and I wish I wish I wish it was me. Everything is cold and unfair and painful and shitty.

This is the only good thing about this weekend.

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noabsolutes

December 2012

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