bad

Apr. 28th, 2010 09:22 pm
noabsolutes: (Default)
My computer is so bad for me. I decide to be productive and then out of absolutely nowhere I look up and its four hours later and I'm curled up in bed with yogurt covered pretzels and the internet. I swore to myself on the drive home just now I wouldn't turn my computer back on until I'd made significant progress packing, and have I even made a list no.

I just typed up this huge thing about my granddad and I just deleted it because it's so hard to find the right words there. My brother and I drove down Friday to visit and drove back up Sunday and it was heartrending and also a relief - my granddad is still in there, but for the first time in his life he looks and acts very old and that was hard to see. The more tired he is, the less oriented he is to time and place, and having him sometimes not know our names or how we were related ["Is [livejournal.com profile] d_flyby your grandson?" "No."] was horrible and I spent a lot of time fighting back sobs. The stroke seems to have targeted mainly the part of his brain that handles predicates, it's so weird. He is very good with subjects and verbs, and starts sentences lucidly, but then he gets stuck. "Where are you-" "What are we-" "What do we-" "When do you-". The part of his brain that handles singing seems untouched though, so Saturday night after dinner we all sang songs from My Fair Lady.

Sunday he did not recognize us and he could not follow directions and he could not speak cogently and it was horrible. When we were leaving I suggested to granddad that we sing the song we always sing when its time to go home, which is just the chorus from "There's a Tavern in the Town". He asked me how it went, so I started singing-

Adieu, adieu kind friends adieu (yes adieu)
I can no longer stay with you
So I'll hang my heart on a weeping willow tree
And may the world go well with thee


and his face lit up and he finished along with the rest of us, and then said, more boldly and lucidly than he'd said all weekend, "And don't think for one second I don't love all of you."

So yeah.

Anyway, I am flying to Florida in t-minus 36 hours, so I should probably start packin'

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noabsolutes

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